Girls Vs Games

Here's something I've been mulling around the old skull scrotum for a good while now. You may or may not be familiar with the concept of the medium of the games of the video variety. Chances are that if you have heard/seen/felt/tasted/smelt of them, that you are aware that absolutely 100% of these "games" (as "we" in "the industry" call "them"), with approximately exactly 0% chance of error, are 100% undeniably unsuitable for female consumption. But odds are that you've seen people without even a whiff of a "Y" chromosome about them saying they "like" video-games. Well, that is a lie, and here's 3 reasons why and 3 female pokémon (the only female game characters ever created):

1: Women Vs War

SIG Sauer P230

All games are violent and girls hate violence. This is a stone-cold fact people! Between the years of 2011 and 2013, "0.1X10³ out of the same number of people doing wars are men". And you can't deny the fact that grenades resemble honorific swollen testicles at least slightly more than they do any medically condemnable female specific body part.







2: Oestrogen Vs Ergonomics

Hands

Ladies. They have smaller hands. Some of them, neigh, all of them, far too miniature and pathetic to get a firm grasp on the latest man centric controller. I can scarcely begin to imagine how one would be able to enjoy a game whilst trying to wrestle a lump of unfitting plastic into your insignificant sweaty little mitts, and now I must move on because even tryping this is making me far too nauseous. 







3: Women are incapible of all achievement

An achievement

If you disagreed with the two above points, as is your undeniable right, then you, my friend, are wrong. However, this point should convince you. Think of all the famous people in the entire history of the universe. Done? What did you notice? Correct. No women. Not a single woman has ever been famous, well-known, or even liked. Albert Einstein, Justin Hawkins, Keith Chedwin-Jones (Who doesn't even exist I might add) are all male. It's regrettable, but it's true, that even if women wanted to play a game, they would simply lack the skills and knowledge needed to perform such a task.

Verdict:

I'm not happy about it, but it's clear that all women who claim to like videogames (and all others) are lairs. They are simply an untrustworthy gender... It's not sexist, it's just fact.

7/10